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What would happen if you merged Jose Mourinho, Pep Guardiola, Tuco Salamanca from Breaking Bad and Quagmire from Family Guy into one person? You’d end up with Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal. Otherwise known as King Louis.

“I have seen many women here and mothers too. A big kiss from the coach of the champions.” - Louis van Gaal

The World Cup is all but over for Holland, and Louis van Gaal has further enhanced his reputation by taking the mediocre Dutch squad much further that anyone had predicted. So now, Louis will turn his attention to matters in Manchester, and for the United fans who wanted something a little bit different to David Moyes, you’re in luck. Louis van Gaal and David Moyes are about as similar as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Justin Bieber.

Firstly, the media. David Moyes’ handling of the press was amateurish to say the least. It was like watching a small kid backed up into a corner by much bigger bullies and his attempts at escaping by squirming his way through their legs often failed. He’d never had to answer questions on failing to sign some of the biggest players in the world while he was at Everton and it showed. With van Gaal, however, the only bullying that should be expected will be what he inflicts on the media. The English press are simply not equipped to deal with him yet.

“Am I the one who is so smart or are you so stupid?” - Louis van Gaal

The biggest problem the media will face is his high level of unpredictability. ?Which Louis van Gaal has just arrived for this presser?’ is the question that most journalists will ask themselves. Happy Louis? Angry Louis? Philosophical Louis? Arrogant Louis? Humorous Louis? They may encounter all of the above in the space of 10 minutes. If at any point he feels that a question has an ulterior motive, then not only will he refuse to answer it, but he will be sure to make a fool out of the person asking it. He is the one with the cameras on him, he is the one that everyone is here to see, and he uses that to his advantage. So, would the safer option be to compliment him? Not quite. If a journalist was to praise the way his team attacked, you could quite easily get the normal reply of, ?Yes, they were great,’ or you are just as likely to get, ?So do you imply that the way we defended was not so good?’ How do you deal with a personality like that? Well, the Dutch, Spanish and German press haven’t quite figured it out yet, so good luck, England.

Let’s move on to football. United fans complained all season long at David Moyes’ negative, over-cautious tactics, as this was a stark contrast from what United are traditionally known for. Players played within certain zones that prevented the likes of van Persie and Rooney interacting as effectively as they had done in the previous season. Luckily, van Gaal favours a more attacking approach. In the World Cup, an injury to Kevin Strootman meant that van Gaal opted to play five at the back, which more or less made Wesley Sneijder ineffective. However, you can be assured that when he takes control of United, he will switch back to his more conventional 4-3-3 formation that he has employed everywhere he has been. One midfielder protects the defence, one patrols the middle of the park and one will burst forward. Two wide men will then provide support for a lone striker with the full backs encouraged to overlap the wingers. Obviously, slight tweaks will be made depending on the opposition but it’s no secret that this is the way he sets his team up.

“Congratulations to Ajax for signing the best coach in the world.” - Louis van Gaal

Decision making. Was David Moyes ever capable of dropping van Persie or Wayne Rooney? It’s doubtful. Louis van Gaal once kicked the late Bobby Robson out of a Barcelona training session, so rest assured, he will drop whoever he wishes to. He has incredible belief in his own methods, and while some see this as blind stubbornness, he will argue that his methods have brought him 19 major trophies in three different countries. Would Moyes have pushed Rooney out wide to accommodate Kagawa or Mata? Seeing that he played both Kagawa and Mata out wide points to him favouring Rooney’s needs, perhaps because he felt that Rooney was the best player in the team. With Louis van Gaal, "the best player in the team" does not exist, and if it does, he would stick that label on himself. The success of van Gaal’s philosophy hinges entirely on his team acting as a unit with every individual playing his role within the collective. When one player doesn’t follow his orders, the rest of the mechanics will malfunction and the player becomes susceptible to a flying kick from Mr. van Gaal.

“Running is for animals. You need a brain and a ball for football.” - Louis van Gaal

David Moyes, perhaps rather fortunately, was seen as a developer of young players. Why? He developed Wayne Rooney, of course. However, apart from that, there isn’t much else to shout about. Jack Rodwell, James Vaughan, Victor Anichebe etc have all somewhat fizzled out, so there isn’t really any evidence that Moyes is any good with youth. Compare that to Louis van Gaal who has given debuts to Xavi, Puyol, Müller, Alaba, Badstuber etc and you can see the difference. Carles Puyol stated that he still felt indebted to Louis van Gaal 15 years after he gave him his first opportunity. I don’t think you’ll be hearing of Ross Barkley’s love of David Moyes. In fact, he began to flourish just as Moyes left Everton…coincidence? The fact is, there are players who will join United just to work with van Gaal while they were previously googling Moyes to find out who he was. That says a great deal in itself.

“I am not the kind of coach who goes out and buys players for the sake of it. I am a coach who wants to and can improve players.” - Louis van Gaal

So United fans, prepare for something unique. Some wanted Sir Alex’s successor to be Mourinho and some wanted Guardiola. What they have got is the guy who taught them both. 

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