Football's fine line between love, hate and sarcasm.

Farewell Felix, it’s been horrific.

Last weekend saw the albatross around Fulham’s neck finally get his marching orders after not only relegating the club after a decade-plus long stay in the Premier League, but guiding us to an impressive (not in a good way) run of no wins since the start of the season, leading us to be bottom of the Championship and the worst form team in all 92 clubs in the English league system. I am now going to detail why he was not only the worst manager to ever ply his trade in English football, but how he is also the most deluded man in English football history. This is going to be fun.

When Magath first came in, he was man no one wanted – in essence, he was the Poochie of Fulham Football Club. The fans were happy with Rene Meulensteen; he’d made some interesting signings and dropped the average age down massively after Martin Jol’s Dad's Army had gone south. He was then sacked after drawing with Manchester United and narrowly losing to Liverpool, and ‘The Putney End Poochie’ was brought in with a reputation of getting teams out of trouble and being a complete sociopath. His first job was to instantly get rid of a player that had just been signed and had already become a favourite of the Fulham faithful in Ryan Tunnicliffe. He was apparently ‘surplus to his requirements’ despite the fact he had played well in those two games against United and Liverpool. He then took this team of young players and great talent, and basically ran them into the ground with daily training sessions, some of which were three times a day (and the last one was the only one with any ball practice), and most bizarrely of all, telling Brede Hangeland to use CHEESE to cure a thigh injury. How this man is let out of his own house each day baffles me – and he was managing our football club.

We proceeded to win three of our last twelve games, and while he did bleed in a lot of our younger players from a highly regarded youth team, he basically bent over and accepted relegation, rather than standing up and fighting to stay in it. Now this is where it gets stupid.

In response to our relegation to the Championship, he proceeded to get rid of pretty much every senior player at the club. The issue was that a lot of them wanted to stay. Club legend Brede Hangeland, presumably sick of the smell of brie by then, was let go without any pomp or circumstance, players like Steve Sidwell, Patjim Kasami, Kieran Richardson were all allowed to leave, we sold our highly rated English ‘keeper David Stockdale to Championship rivals Brighton in a move that made no sense, and the icing on the cake, our marquee players, Alex Kacaniklic, Maarten Stekelenburg, and Bryan Ruiz, all of whom wanted to stay and fight for this club, were frozen out. Stekkers was shipped off to Monaco, and Ruiz and Kaca were just left to stagnate; Magath brought in a raft of Bavarian talent (who have been okay so far) and plugged any hole with the highly rated youth team, as well as Ross McCormack from Leeds. who admittedly is a good little signing, but I’d say more Kyt’s choice that Poochie’s.

So the Championship started and we looked and played exactly the same as we did last season because we somehow managed to come down and weaken ourselves of our own volition. My brain hurts. So we lost to Ipswich, then we lost to Millwall, then Wolves, then were trounced 5-1 by Derby, but we drew with Cardiff!!= Then lost to Reading and Nottingham Forest, even though we were 3-2 against Forest – and still managed to go down 5-3. The tactics sucked, the team choices sucked, so therefore we sucked. So Magath had to go.

The galling thing about the whole thing is that Magath was so high and mighty about it all. He said after every game that he was the man to get it right and blamed everyone else, because god forbid he’s the idiot here! (he even blamed previous owner Al Fayed for leaving the club in a bad shape. He rightly got told to shut up). Even after being sacked, he is acting as some sort of bastion of German football, saying he still has something to add to the English game. No, you don’t. You have nothing to add to anyone's game. You are a footballing dinosaur who thinks breaking players is equivalent to loyalty. You managed to rip the heart out of a club that was all about its heart and left it on the cusp of complete destruction.  I hope you never find work in football again, Felix Magath, and you are forgotten and laughed at the footballing public. Piss off.

So what’s next for the Cottagers? Well, Kit Symons, our beloved youth coach, is in charge, and in spite of his debut match ending in another defeat, this time to Blackburn, I would want him as our permanent coach. He knows the talent there well, he has the trust of the players (his first game in, he brought back Bryan Ruiz from Magath’s death prison or whatever) and he has the backing of the fans. We’ve literally got nothing else to lose here, have him and Danny Murphy at the helm – let’s go full nostalgia!

Besides those two, I’d probably have someone like Neil Lennon, he has impressive credentials in Scottish football and would bring a winning mentality to the club. The favourite is apparently Tim Sherwood...he’d have a nice selection of gilets, I guess.
Anyone but Magath will do, because something is better than nothing masquerading as a manager.

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