England, World Champions in 2022? Not Happening.

September 4, 2013 in International, Premier League

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So the dust has settled, the deals have been done and the media monster’s attention has swung towards international duty.

Joy.

On Friday, England face Moldova at home. Should be business as usual. But the trip to Ukraine on Tuesday’s gonna be an exercise in Schadenfreude, away in Ukraine with a goalkeeper who can’t catch, a greying midfield and the tactics of Roy Hodgson.

Today, Greg Dyke, new Football Association chairman, decided to outline a plan to ensure this will never happen again.

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Tottenham’s Tasty Transfer Treats

August 21, 2013 in Premier League, Transfers

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So, I have a confession to make.

As of around… *checks watch* five days ago, I no longer give a f*ck about Gareth Bale’s drawn-out rendition of The Clash. I shrug about journalistic sources saying he’s sure to go without any kind of quote attached, images of a man arriving to do his job (STOP THE PRESSES) or the general murmuring of “How are they possibly going to replace him?”

I’ve probably been a bit blunt. Let me try this another way.

Aston Villa v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League

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Season Preview 2013-14: Newcastle United

August 14, 2013 in Premier League, Team Previews

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Newcastle’s close season has been defined by one man.

Yes, they’ve managed to sign Loic Remy, a man who turned them down in January for more money, only to get relegated. However, he proved he was probably worth it before (allegedly) proving he probably wasn’t.

Yes, at the time of writing they’re in frantic negotiations with Bafetimbi Gomis from Lyon, one of the many “Baby Drogbas” running around Europe at the moment (the Arsenal Slayer really gets around).

Yes, they’ve managed to get rid of some deadwood while keeping hold of their key players like Fabricio Coloccini, Papiss Demba Cisse and Yohan Cabaye (so far).

But most fans would argue this is all in spite of one man.

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Why was Andre Villas-Boas linked with the Barcelona job?

July 23, 2013 in La Liga, Premier League

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Why was Andre Villas-Boas linked with the Barcelona job?

I mean, I know I’m meant to start with fluff, with a nice lead-in before hitting you with the hook, but this is something that bewilders and frustrates me more than Tottenham’s inability to secure a striker of any kind of description – I don’t have the patience to obey conventions right now.

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Thiago Alcantara becomes Manchester United’s latest failed conquest

July 16, 2013 in Bundesliga, Premier League, Transfers

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What do Mesut Ozil, Wesley Sneijder and Lucas Moura all have in common?

Well, they’re all playmakers with talent us mere mortals can only dream of. They all, at the peak of their talent with the hype that follows, were chased by Sir Alex Ferguson.

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