August 14, 2013 in Premier League, Team Previews
If you’ve aimlessly trailed the #MUFC hashtag on Twitter recently, you’d be forgiven for thinking United’s new Commander-In-Chief has splurged all his war chest on Everton players. You’d probably see a barely comprehendible collection of 140 characters or less stating: ‘united is not team anymore its everton #MoyesOut’. United fan or not, if you’ve read a newspaper or been on the internet in the last couple of months, I don’t need to explain to you why such sentiments are devoid of logic. You and I both know that, regardless of the team you follow, you will always encounter immature or fickle fans whose knowledge of your team doesn’t extend beyond FIFA 13.
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June 27, 2013 in Features, Funny Stuff
You play, you pay
“My grandmother could’ve scored that!” Yeah? Well, now you can prove it, well nearly. Debt-stricken Blue Square Bet Premier outfit, Macclesfield Town are offering the chance for a member of the public to play ten minutes of a league or cup match for the modest (depending on your status) sum of £20,000. The idea comes from the apparent need for the club to raise £100,000 by the end of August.
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June 20, 2013 in International, Transfers
The football season has ended, what’s a boy to do? The obvious excitement of transfer nonsense (something amplified a thousand times over since Twitter’s arrival), is one way to sustain a football interest, but for me, the best bit is when two teams play against each other for a certain amount of time and one or neither of them win. There are usually goals and tackles and fouls and cards (sometimes even red ones). It really is thrilling stuff sometimes.
We’ve reached a point where if your manager has not pre-signed a player you’ve never heard of before April, you’ll have half a mind to find them on that beach (they shouldn’t be allowed holidays), Shanghai them back to grey England and force them to read a list you’ve written, consisting of six hundred players who are good on Football Manager.
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June 14, 2013 in Funny Stuff, Premier League, Transfers
This is not a defence of cannibalism.
Once you’ve tasted human flesh, your perspective on life changes. Once you’ve broken a social taboo, it’s hard not to gain a sense of superiority. When Suarez got his first taste of footballer, it was an accident, an instinctual moment harking back to the days before humans held dominion over the other animals. A primordial reaction is his brain caused the uncontrollable urge to bite Otman Bakkal in November 2010. It changed everything.
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June 6, 2013 in Premier League
Who saw that coming?
It’s a couple of weeks since David Moyes left the club, and Wigan’s Roberto Martinez has officially been appointed Everton’s new manager. As an Evertonian who is nigh on constant in his criticism of Bill Kenwright, I’d actually like to offer some appreciation for his efforts in getting us a new boss. Not because Martinez was an inspired choice but because (if the rumour mill is to be believed) he actually managed to get a competent list of candidates together and, in a very un-Evertonlike way, managed to sort out the appointment reasonably quickly. The list apparently consisted of internal options (Stubbs, Neville, Weir and Ferguson) with a sprinkling of European tacticians (Pereira, Rangnick and Solskjaer).
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