Transfer Deadline Day: A Parody

January 30, 2013 in Features, Funny Stuff by Joseph Kingsley-Nyinah

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At the end of every transfer window, football clubs throw sums of money most of us will never see in our lifetime at each other in a bid to try and put value on a single person’s worth.

Sounds a bit odd if put like that, but what if the rest of the day was that odd? Hmm…

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Newcastle United: Nouveau Château - The French Revolution in Newcastle

January 30, 2013 in Premier League, Transfers by Daniel Lloyd

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January has been a very interesting month for Newcastle in the transfer market. A well publicised ‘done deal’ for Loïc Rémy didn’t go according to plan, as it got hijacked by QPR at the last minute, cueing lots of people, including myself, to say that Newcastle wouldn’t have much luck in this transfer window, but my oh my how wrong we all were.

Newcastle have signed five players in the window so far, more than any other team in the league, and every single one of them is from France’s Ligue 1. I’m going to speak a bit about each of their signings, and tell you how they may well affect the team from now until the end of the season.

Mathieu Debuchy

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Howe has he done it… again? At Bournemouth

January 28, 2013 in League 1 by George Curtis

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Luck was not a luxury afforded to Edward John Frank Howe, at least not on the field of play. A long-term knee injury cut short the career of an otherwise stylish centre-half. ‘Stylish’, an attribute that avoids your typical lower league defender like the bubonic plague, and indeed, his short blonde hair and alluring bright blue eyes suggested that Eddie Howe would be better served on your television screens, alerting your attention to the creamy texture and sweet taste of a Milkybar, than halting the physicalities of a big industrial centre-forward. And upon reflection of his short-lived football career, that might actually have been the case. You would have been applauded for thinking, therefore, that a career on the sidelines as a manager, rather than a crocked young defender, would have been the perfect route for Howe, providing his bad luck hasn’t followed him, of course. “Bad luck?” I hear you ask. “What bad luck?”

Ever since Howe, 31, took over the reins from Mickey Quinn in January 2008, it has been a turbulence-free flight from the bottom of the League 2 ladder and a painful 17-point deficit, to possible promotion into the Championship, and all with the same team. But for dipping his toes into the Championship waters with Burnley in 2011, Howe’s loyalty to his boyhood club has been unwavering, and that is reflected into the support and affection the fans on the south coast have administered to their prodigal son.

Arsene Wenger’s “2 per customer” transfer idea is silly - and not where his attention needs to be.

January 28, 2013 in Premier League, Transfers by Farhat Raza

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Arsene Wenger has made his fair share of bizarre claims in his time - and last Friday, he added another to the collection. Apparently buying players in the transfer window isn’t fair. Okay so it wasn’t quite that straight-forward, Wenger suggested teams should be limited to 2 signings in the January window - but the concept still seems utterly ridiculous. Why on earth should teams be limited in the numbers of players they add to their squad and what is so unfair about trying to improve your team anyway?

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Ten red cards to make you cringe, laugh and ‘OOO’ out loud

January 25, 2013 in Funny Stuff by George Curtis

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A bad tackle, dissent, violent conduct; they are all basic ways players find themselves on the receiving end of a red card. But with Eden Hazard kicking a ball boy and thus finding an entirely new way of earning an early shower, it’s time to have a look at some of the most brutal, hilarious, and ridiculous incidents that have seen players, and referees, brandished with a dreaded red. Enjoy!

1) Kevin Muscat was never one to shy away from a tackle, or from telling us exactly what he thought of it, as this clip from a Melbourne Cup game in Australia demonstrates