Read All About It: Transfer Fails

July 20, 2012 in Ligue 1, Premier League, Transfers by Aman Pathiara

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The last couple of days have been quite tumultuous in regards to movement in football; who knows who will end up where? Here are four stories that caught my eye, and that I just HAVE to question…

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1. Robin van Persie to Manchester City, Manchester United and/or Juventus

Today’s favourite rumour is the one that states that all three above clubs have made a £15m bid for Robin van Persie, Arsenal’s latest star wantaway. Other than personally realising that he is creating some sort of footballer agency, Arsene Wenger is said to be unhappy at the figure that each of the clubs has bid. Perhaps if they put all of that money together…?

Alas, Arsene, we live in the real world, and I imagine that RVP’s value to the bidding clubs is low due to his age making any resale value quite low, and not to mention his patchy injury history. I, a staunch Manchester United fan, thought that paying money for his transfer would be silly, especially since he’ll be potentially available on a free next year. All of a sudden, though, I seem to be warming to the idea of VAN PERSIE 9 in a Manchester United shirt. How fickle football can be.

Still, Arsenal are reported to have turned down our bid, and a news source is claiming that the Dutchman is going to force a move to the Premier League champions (still hurts to say that). Well, it only makes sense; City have shopped at Arsenal so many times, they should get a bloody loyalty card. Arsenal fans seem happiest with RVP not moving to United, and would prefer him to go to Juventus, with some claiming that the move would be met with relative happiness. …The same fans that were calling him a traitor a few weeks back. Let’s see where this one goes.

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2. Chelsea buying everyone under the sun

Roman Abramovich clearly hasn’t read the script here. The idea, Roman, is that you spend £££ all the way until you win the Champions League, not after you’ve done it. Regardless, I can only assume that the trophy John Terry shamelessly lifted in May was FILLED with cash, because they honestly are looking to buy everyone they can, a la Manchester City. Having already bought Marko Marin and serial cocktease Eden Hazard, they are looking to add Brazilian starlet Oscar to their squad, along with… *pause for breath* Cesar Azpilicueta, Edinson Cavani, Andre Schurrle, Hulk, Lukasz Piszczek, and Victor Moses. In the case of the latter, it seems odd that if they are looking to add this many personnel, they can’t seem to able to PART with Wigan’s £10m asking price for Moses. You see what I did there? PART? Cos he’s Moses…? No?

Erhmm, they are also looking to add one of Eden Hazard’s younger brothers to their ranks. Thorgan Hazard, currently of Lens, is considered to be an even bigger prospect than his now-considered annoying elder brother, and is widely expected to make the move to Stamford Bridge. I was actually hoping United would have a look at him, but clearly Chelsea are miles ahead in scouting out their players’ families. *insert John Terry joke* Expecting a move shortly for Hazard’s other brothers, Fyer, Warter and Khemikal.

…Nothing?

I’m wasted on you people.

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3. Fabio’s gone to Russia!

I did think it was a big shame how Fabio Capello’s England career ended. Resigning over a matter in which the law has handed a verdict which agrees with his stance, and leaving England with the only damage to his otherwise epic CV, the Capello saga could have ended so much better. Still, as long as he got to do whatever it was he wanted after, it would all be good, and Capello came out to say that he would like one last crack at a club job.

So, naturally, he ended up managing the Russian national team.

…Yeah.

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4. Zlatan lies, but he’s just so damn amusing

Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Thiago Silva moved to Paris St. Germain this week, in a move which, rather than scare all of PSG’s French rivals, appears to have made rival players really, really happy. While the transfers are undoubtedly huge news for PSG, there is no reason for Zlatan to lie about it. He claimed that playing for PSG was a “dream which has become reality”. Uh-huh. Was that dream one of giant piles of cash, by any chance? Because that’s the only way I’m gonna believe that. In today’s climate, there isn’t really any point in lying about your pursuit for money; it just makes you more of a target. Just ask Samir Nasri. On the other hand, you have Tottenham’s Benoit Assou-Ekotto, who openly refers to himself as a mercenary, and former Borussia Dortmund star Lucas Barrios, who did not even try to hide that his move to China was down to the huge pay packet. Good on ya.

I guess it’s possible that young Zlatan grew up dreaming of coins and notes, and perhaps it’s those dreams that made him so…eccentric. His quote of the whole conference was “It’s true I don’t know that much about Ligue 1, but Ligue 1 knows who I am.” I think I love him.

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